


Time Will Tell, They Said

by unagidragonroll



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Constipation, I Tried, M/M, Mutual Pining, Ong Seongwoo-centric, Slow Burn, from highschool au, there are nuest members, to beyond highschool au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 15:18:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14855252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unagidragonroll/pseuds/unagidragonroll
Summary: Birthdays after birthdays, Seongwoo finally realized that it’s always been Daniel.





	Time Will Tell, They Said

Seongwoo is not one who really cherishes birthdays.

He’s thankful to be born to this world, on the month of end-summer, where people tend to sunbathe, get ice creams, and complain about the heat. For him, it depends on what day his birthday fell. One Monday, he went with his friends to the arcade at the back of their school, clearing his allowance to near zero. One happened on Saturday, where he went with his then-girlfriend to the cinema to watch latest romcom. A Wednesday birthday made him a good boy he was, spending the night with his parents and a cake, later being captured with his mother’s camera phone. He laughed at how blurry the picture turned out.

 

As much as he didn’t care about his birthday, he failed to notice that it had been starting to be (actually) different since his second year of high school’s birthday.

 

He was crushing on this junior in his school. He was a year younger, and when Seongwoo had a fling, the whole school seemed to acknowledge that (not) surprisingly one Sunday morning, long short story, his lousy pack of friends made the Daniel he had been gushing over for almost a month, standing in front of his house, totally out of place in the middle of Jaehwan and Jisung and another ten not yet showered guys, with a cake on his hands. The Daniel grinned (adorably) with rosy tinted cheeks.

Jaehwan was cheering too loudly for his liking, but although he took 90% part of this crime to happen in the first place, if not for this annoying creature, Seongwoo wouldn’t fall way harder (if it was possible) to the boy who was smiling nervously before him. 

“Happy birthday, hyung.” He said, in the middle of his friends’ hollering. 

“Thanks, Daniel.” Seongwoo answered back, smiling from ear to ear with similar blush across his cheeks.

 

Little did he know, after the whole commotion resolved and after he took a quick shower, a message was found on his phone.

_Happy birthday again, Seongwoo hyung. Godspeed! :B_

He let out a big sigh because what was this boy being THIS cute for? 

 

 

 

Things went rather escalated since then. Daniel turned out to be a geek and less dense compared to Seongwoo. They went on several movie dates, especially Marvel movies, where Daniel jumped on his seat in glee when the after credit showed a sneak peek of The Avengers’ assembly, or when he sulked throughout the bus ride home because the injustice Peter Parker had to go through after Gwen Stacy’s death.

If anything, Seongwoo was 10000% whipped and the insecurity wave hit him because Daniel didn’t look like he would make a move.

 

“You’re the senior for fuck’s sake, you go confess,” Jaehwan snapped, partially because he just lost a game and he had to bear Seongwoo’s whine all night. “Why are you here anyway?”

“My parents went overseas. I’m alone,” he pouted, “But Jaehwaaan, can’t you ask him? But don’t tell me the answer later. But I’m curious. What if he lost interest in me? After everything we’ve been through?”

Jaehwan made an extra effort to not roll his eyes for the umpteenth time that night. “I can just call him right now right here and ask him ‘Hey Niel are you as whipped as Seongwoo why don’t you two go out so you can take him to your house because I need some inner peace since tomorrow we have math quiz??’, but you would jump on me now and throw my phone like you always do, wouldn’t you?”

Seongwoo’s pouts turned worse if it was possible, and Jaehwan let out an exasperated sigh as he walked to the bathroom. Seongwoo looked up to the ceiling of Jaehwan’s room, sighing loudly as he looked at his Blackberry’s black screen. Total black with no notification of whatsoever. Like his future with Daniel.

“If he asked you though, would you say yes?” Jaehwan’s head popped in, half of his body was still behind the wall. Seongwoo didn’t want to wonder.

He blinked and deadpanned, “Of fucking course?”

Jaehwan eventually rolled his eyes and went back to his business.

 

 

It was the fifth month of Seongwoo’s pining story that on one afternoon after school, Daniel finally confessed to him. Jaehwan was very impatient because how come it took Seongwoo almost three minutes to answer? He could’ve said yes without Daniel finishing his heartfelt words.

“Took you long enough,” Seongwoo said that night on the phone. He was lying on his back, drawing circles on his bed like a stupidly in love teenager he was.

Daniel chuckled, “Took  _you_  long enough. To answer.”

 

 

Everything went by like a flash until Seongwoo’s 2nd birthday with him. He turned 17 and Daniel got the nerve to show up, clichély, on midnight, sweaty from dance practice but still managed to appear cute because he was holding a cake on one hand and a messily wrapped gift on another. Seongwoo didn’t fail to notice the drawing on the corner of the wrap. He really could’ve died right there because of the overwhelming feeling.

The younger grinned sheepishly and blinked his eyes several times, a habit Seongwoo had grown fond of, “I thought you might need a new bag.”

It was a black sling bag that Seongwoo had been saving his money for. Damn this kid who’s unexpectedly attentive to his surroundings.

 

 

All in all, they did what most couples do, and couples need to face some problems on their way.

 

Like that one time Daniel obliviously kept answering his ex’s chats even when he knew Seongwoo’s one possessive bitch and hell, the girl was clearly hitting on him, or when Daniel gave his classmate a ride on his first motorbike before him, or when Daniel started to not reply his weekly I Love You because Daniel thought “it will sound less special if we keep saying that, hyung..” (Seongwoo turned into a jelly after that innocent explanation though), and many other things where Daniel ‘messed up’ and Seongwoo, being Seongwoo, got mad over the littlest thing because I Like Him So Much and I Simply Don’t Want to Lose Him.

Jaehwan wanted to puke but also wanted to give this neighbour of him a smack on the head.

 

And another time when Seongwoo was on his senior year, and naturally, he had to go to college.

“We can work this out,” Daniel assured him, hand tightening around his. “I mean, you can always come home in every few months, and we’ll use Skype or if you’re not busy, I can manage with us texting? Like we always do?”

Seongwoo’s gaze might not looked convincing. So Daniel spoke again as he teared his gaze away, “But if you’re not sure then, I guess..“ he let out a dry chuckle, and the grip loosened. “It’s all up to you, hyung.”

Why does it always up to me _,_ Seongwoo wanted to ask, eyes searching his face.

But instead, he leaned in and kissed him. Seongwoo could feel Daniel was holding back, so he pushed him down, making the younger’s breath hitched with his hands firm on his arm, holding him up. It was painful, the way Daniel’s hold tightened and loosened desperately, like he was afraid of losing him. Once Seongwoo placed his hands on Daniel’s shoulders to steady himself, he opened his eyes to see him smiling up with his thumb softly wiping the tear that just rolled down. They looked at each other, and Daniel leaned in again.

“I’ll make it work, hyung,” he said, lips ghosting just above his, before he gave him another kiss.

 

Seongwoo couldn’t sleep that night.

 

 

College took its toll on freshmen. Seongwoo felt his days were only sitting in those big classrooms with quick meals in between. A plate of frozen spaghetti bolognaise couldn’t be finished because the alarm on his phone rang — a sign he has a practice at the theatre down the hall. Like any other first years did, Seongwoo also had to cram the few last weeks of the term to perfect his dialogues. But to say if he was thankful, he would say he was blessed. Getting into this college of his dream since he grew fond in acting on his third year of junior high maybe needed some sacrifices, like sleeping, healthy meals, and the scarce messages on his phone.

 

It was almost winter break that Daniel chose to come over. He said his mother went to her relatives outside the country so it was no use for him to stay at home.

“Might as well visit you while you can,” he said between his full mouth. “You looked like a corpse. Eat up.” 

Seongwoo opened his mouth meekly while Daniel carefully put in a layer of meat. The younger grinned cheekily and he couldn’t help but melt at the sight.

“How’s school?” Seongwoo asked, taking a sip of his beer.

“It’s fine, I guess.” 

Seongwoo propped his chin, “Have a thought where you’re going next?” 

Daniel hummed at that. He busied himself with flipping meats that were done moments ago. “I don’t know. Mom wants me to do business but I still feel like doing sketches?” He stopped with the meat because Seongwoo took and piled them on the younger’s plate. Daniel eventually looked up to Seongwoo’s questioning eyes. He sighed, “I’m still not sure, hyung.”

Seongwoo chuckled and ruffled his hair. “It’s okay, you’ll just, know.”

Daniel let out one big sigh before leaned his head on his shoulder. “I’m so full and I missed you.”

Seongwoo couldn’t help but blush. This kid and the effect he had on him.

 

 

New year came in a flash and soon, Seongwoo could only congratulate Daniel on passing the exit exam on Skype.

Daniel chose architecture. He said on the phone one day, “My mom finally understood, and I guess now I can understand why you said that.”

Seongwoo chuckled, sensing Daniel’s glee on the screen with Jaehwan’s loud laugh in the background. “Don’t drink too much,” he warned.

“Ah, I can’t wait to drink with you!” He was seen laughing at something stupid Jaehwan did before going outside the cafe. Daniel chuckled, like every time he’s about to talk about anything, “How’s your project doing?”

Seongwoo groaned, “Same old, same old.”

“You’ll do fine.” Daniel reassured, “Want me to come? I’m as free as a bird now?” He animatedly flew his imaginary wings.

Seongwoo gazed at Daniel’s crescent eyes as he laughed and looked down, “I should be the one who come home and celebrate this. I’m sorry.”

“What? No! Please don’t be sorry,” Daniel panicked, “It’s nothing! I mean we only stuffed out bellies with Jaehwan’s overcooked meats and drank Sewoon’s stupid mix. Your project is more important—“

“No.” He muttered, “Daniel, I won’t make it to your graduation too. And you can’t keep coming here to me when I only went back once, and that on Christmas when we barely met because I had to do services with my father and visit my families and,” he sighed, looking straight to the screen, “and you were too kind to ask.”

Daniel was taken aback. He kept quiet, afraid to say anything at the moment. He bit his lower lip and looked down.

“Shit.” Seongwoo spoke again in lower voice. “I’m sorry, Daniel.”

Daniel’s eyes quickly turned to the screen again. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I just said. Shit, I screwed up.” Seongwoo said, taking the laptop off his desk and brought it to his bed. “Daniel?”

Daniel slowly smiled again. “I said you don’t need to be sorry, Seongwoo.”

 

Seongwoo wanted to talk more but his tongue felt heavy. It had been months since the last time they talked and he didn’t know why it turned out like that. Seongwoo felt distant — something he hadn’t once felt with Daniel before. He realized right there, that Daniel lost his cheeks, there were dark bags under his eyes, and even the simplest, he dyed his hair to lighter brown.

But he still told him about his new shoes, about this bar he just found, about how shitty the cafeteria foods tasted like these days, and all because Daniel always asked.

 

“Daniel,” he called once Daniel’s laugh died down after watching Seongwoo reenacted the scene of his new play about being trapped inside an elevator, “Daniel.”

“Yes?” He breathed out because another fit of laughter just emerged. “Yes, Seongwoo?”

Seongwoo’s gaze softened, and he wanted to say those words, he really did, but nothing came out.

Nothing came out until Jaehwan suddenly popped on the screen, draping himself across Daniel’s wide back. Jaehwan hollered something incoherent before Sewoon came, half-soberly waved at Seongwoo, and took Jaehwan with him.

Daniel laughed at the two and asked to wait for him before turning to the screen again. “I’ll text you when I got home.” He smiled cheekily, and took the phone closer to him. “I love you!” He whispered quickly, added it with his signature chuckle, and hung up.

 

 

Another summer days rolled in, and Seongwoo was sleeping his day off after a welcoming party the night before. He probably drank a bit too much, and he was lucky he found the way to his flat correctly instead of passing out at any random guy’s place.

He woke up in the afternoon, head spinning and he wanted to puke anything inside his empty stomach. Groggily, he walked to the fridge to eat something decent but to find none. He could make cup noodles but he was afraid of his dizzy state he might pour the boiling soup into himself, adding another catastrophe.

Therefore, he sat down by his bed inside his studio room. He reached down for his phone to see several messages from his friends, and one from Daniel. He probably drank way too much for his suck tolerance level that he eventually closed his eyes, resting his head on the edge of the bed because he couldn’t stare at the screen too long.

It took him 5 minutes to be completely sober that he heard a knock on the door. He really needed to fix the bell soon. 

“Happy birthday!” There were about 3 people outside of his room and they made their way inside without his consent. They shoved him the cake and immediately scattered around his small flat. 

“So that much was your limit, huh?” Dongho sneered from the bed.

Seongwoo rolled his eyes. “I haven’t drunk for months for the sake of my kidney, thanks.” He placed the cake on the counter and walked to take a knife. He knew Dongho was still looking so he showed it off deliberately.

Dongho chuckled. “Take the cake for yourself, no need to cut it.”

Minhyun laughed from the side and joined him with some tissues. He took the knife from him to cut the cake more proportionally. Carefully, he placed the cake one by one and handed it first to the owner.

 

“Minhyun’s my only friend here,” Seongwoo said while munching his cake.

Dongho laughed again.

“Oh, you too, Jonghyun,” he said to Jonghyun who just came out of the bathroom.

Jonghyun shot him a questioning look, but Minki rose from his seat on the floor to storm at Seongwoo, making him forget what was he about to ask. 

 

“Aside from last night,” Minhyun started once the commotion had gone and Dongho had slept on his bed alongside with Minki, “What have you been up to this summer?”

“I took a part time job at this dance class,” Seongwoo answered, gathering some of his script papers from months ago because he finally had the time. “My parents went to visit my sister so I thought it was no use to go home. Better make some cash.”

“You dance?” Jonghyun asked from his seat on the floor, hands on Seongwoo’s keyboard. If they had to compare Seongwoo’s small room to their more spacious ones, Seongwoo would still win because of his Wi-Fi.

“Not much,” Seongwoo shrugged, settling back on the counter in front of Minhyun with his phone. “Only the basics.”

“Can I come sometimes?” Minhyun asked.

He mumbled absentmindedly, “Not gonna happen.”

Jonghyun was saying something but Seongwoo couldn’t catch, because the text on his phone made him immediately go to the door, to nothing.

He quickly put the numbers on dial and the voice across the phone made him hold his breath. He was still standing midway to keep the door opened — he found the box there.

 

“Daniel,” he let out the breath he had been holding.

“Happy birthday!” Daniel answered cheery. “Is the cake okay?”

Seongwoo pressed the volume button higher, “Where are you?”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t get the strawberry one so I made it as the topping,” Daniel continued to ramble.

Seongwoo let out a sigh and there the younger stopped. “Where are you?”

Daniel went quite for a moment before answering, “The train station.”

“Wait there.“

 

He quickly hung up and stormed inside his room, where two pairs of eyes looked up. “I need to go somewhere first. You go to the bar and order, I’ll catch up.”

 

In the midst of his ringing phone and him putting his shoes on, vaguely he heard Jonghyun asking whomst.

“His boyfriend,” Minhyun answered for him.

He shut the door.

 

 

The station wasn’t that packed since people already travelled back few weeks ago. It was around 8 and there weren’t many trains left. Seongwoo was half running when he spotted the familiar blonde back head of him.

Somehow knew, Daniel looked back and his face lightened up instantly.

Daniel didn’t get to call him because the moment he blinked, he was enveloped with Seongwoo’s slender figure. He slowly raised his arms to circle the small waist when Seongwoo tightened the hug. 

The older then buried his face into his shoulder, inhaling his scent, and feeling his own breath slowed down that he eventually could feel the other’s heartbeat through his t-shirt.

It felt like minutes had passed, and they were still hugging, when Seongwoo finally talked, “Why aren’t you wearing any jacket?”

Daniel laughed, bringing his fingers to brush Seongwoo’s nape. “You really need to eat more.”

Seongwoo now broke the hug and stared at him. “I’ll take you here tomorrow, now you come home with me.”

“But I’ve already bought my tickets.” He said, putting the same serious tone as he was given.

Seongwoo gritted his teeth. “You don’t know how miserable I felt on the taxi, knowing the last train just departed ten minutes ago with the possibility of you inside of it, going along.”

Daniel laughed at that, taking his hand and intertwined their fingers. “But I have class tomorrow.”

“Really? Mine starts in few weeks— fuck, you’re lying, right?”

Daniel’s laugh went louder and he couldn’t help to not hug the older again. “I missed you, hyung.” 

 

 

Seongwoo brought Daniel along to the bar where his friends were. Daniel knew some of them from Seongwoo’s calls, and he was excited to finally meet them in person.

“Stop grinning,” Seongwoo said.

They were dancing to some music, a can of beer on each other’s hand. 

“I’m so happy I got to meet your friends,” he answered, “They’re kind.”

“They are.” Seongwoo said. He watched Daniel drank his God knows can of the night, and smiled. “You’re really good in drinking.”

Daniel laughed and circled his hand around Seongwoo’s waist.

“And I didn’t remember you being this bold either,” Seongwoo mused.

Daniel brought him closer, now basically hugging him, and whispered loudly against the beat, “I’m an adult now, Seongwoo.”

Seongwoo wanted to pinch his smug face, but the alcohol made him forget when Daniel leaned in and kissed him. The kiss started off slow, as if they both were trying to fit and revive the feeling, then it turned deeper. Seongwoo then remembered how plump his lips were, a contrast with his thin ones, and he tasted like the beer. Daniel’s hands wandered from his waist lower, pressing their bodies closer. He felt Daniel. He felt how he missed him, how his shaky breath between their kiss told him how much he had been waiting for this — for him to be in his arms.

 

The TV on his flat was still on HBO when they both stepped in, still clinging to each other. Daniel tried to break the kiss to admire the surroundings, even let out some innocent comments about his monotone collection of shoes, the great views from the window, and how he liked the movie that was playing, as if his lips weren’t swollen and him breathless wasn’t caused by their kiss.

Seongwoo just sighed as he watched Daniel plopped and bounced on his bed several times.

“Your bed back home is better than this, isn’t it?” He asked, “Why didn’t you bring it with you when you moved?”

Seongwoo put Daniel’s cake inside the fridge that his friends probably took it in earlier. “It’s comfy enough.”

“Well, if you say so, since you passed out this morning.” He mumbled distractedly while taking out his phone, “Right, I forgot to tell my mother I’m staying the night.”

Seongwoo stopped at his first remark. “I’m sorry.”

Daniel couldn’t catch that as he was busy fiddling with his phone. Right when he sent the message, he looked up to see Seongwoo already looking at him. “Hyung?”

When Seongwoo didn’t seem to speak soon, Daniel walked to him. 

“Seongwoo?” He called again, hand reaching out his face.

Daniel knew what he was going to say, and being Daniel, he smiled, and gave him a peck. “Happy birthday again.”

Seongwoo couldn’t think of why his vocal cord gave up on him again. He hid his face on the crook of Daniel’s neck, and cried, probably. He didn’t know, his head was spinning again, and he only wanted to make it up for him. 

So he kissed him, he kissed him everywhere he could, everywhere Daniel let him. He could only think of how stupid he had been as he marked his slightly tanned skin, how sorry he felt as he touched where Daniel wanted him the most, and he moved so carefully he was afraid to break him. Daniel whimpered, his breath was shaky when he reached out to brush the damp hair off Seongwoo’s face. Seongwoo’s gaze turned blurry, and suddenly a wave of flashback hit him where it occurred right in front of his eyes, that Daniel just wiped another tear.

“I love you, hyung.” He breathed. 

Seongwoo laid down next to him, taking in his warmth under the cover. He kissed the purple on his neck, and moved to his cheek. His lips ghosted over his cheek still as he closed his eyes.

“Daniel,” he murmured on his skin.

Daniel hummed as an answer. He was also closing his eyes from the high, and he had his arm around Seongwoo’s waist.

“I thought you said it would sound less special.” 

Daniel stopped rubbing circles on his waist, “What is?”

“Saying _it_ , repeatedly.”

Daniel chuckled then, “It helps now.”

Seongwoo opened his eyes as he traced the outline of his face, his pointy nose, and his lips, then he shifted closer to put his head on his chest.

 

Both said nothing in the meantime and as his breath slowed down, Daniel drifted off to sleep at around 3. Seongwoo couldn’t sleep, still, and it was 5 when he was done contemplating to call sick at work while watching him sleep. Maybe he’d be happy if he treated him meat for lunch, Seongwoo thought. He could take him to the new arcade around the corner too, since he hadn’t got the time to go there either. He would take him to the station for 4 o’clock train, so Daniel would be arrived home around 7 and he could rest for God knows what he might do the next day.

Daniel stirred in his sleep, like he always does, and turned to face him. The hand on his waist was still there. Seongwoo scooted closer. He did miss this. But then he realized, when was the last time he replied?

 

 

Seongwoo was finally the head of his project. He had comrades yet the burden didn’t get lighter. He was an overthinker from the start, and he tried to not control everything as a result from his anxiety’s defence mechanism, but he couldn’t help it. He might be a jokester but when he was left alone at the theater, he screamed loudly, internally.

There Minhyun came with a coffee.

“I thought you don’t like coffee.” Seongwoo said.

“Dongho gave me free vouchers.” Minhyun answered, sitting down two chairs apart from him.

Seongwoo knew the lie, but there was nothing he ought to do. Minhyun knew the boundaries as Seongwoo didn’t want to ruin their friendship. So he kept his silence, focusing on the script before his eyes, and it became natural for Minhyun to drop by with a hot bagel or cold Americano, and to walk him with an excuse of needing to buy some dust cleaners from the market down Seongwoo’s flat.

 

Daniel’s class was getting packed, Seongwoo learned that night through the Skype. Their calls were getting rare, but they still managed to exchange two or three texts before they end the day.

“Minhyun walked me today,” Seongwoo said, laying down on his bed. 

Daniel tried to keep his grin, “It’s good then.” He spoke again before it started to sound less convincing, “I don’t need to be worried over the kidnap issues over there.”

Seongwoo gazed at Daniel’s forced yawn, “Go to sleep.”

“Okay. You too, hyung.” He answered. 

It was their first time in few months to have a video call, and Seongwoo noticed the way Daniel quickly hung up on him. Call him selfish for wanting to hear it. 

 

And as far as he knew, his neighbourhood was safe.

 

 

One morning, Jisung suddenly dropped his chat box a greeting. He apparently dropped by his college to apply for a postgraduate study.

 

“When was the last time you come home?” Jisung there dropped the bomb after barely 5 minutes they sat at the coffee shop. 

Seongwoo’s stirring halted and he looked up. He saw Jisung’s face, and he knew it must be about that.

“We text, hyung.” Seongwoo sighed. “Stop worrying.”

Jisung leaned back on his seat and crossed his arms. “I know you, Seongwoo. And since you two dated, he’s been basically my son.”

Seongwoo took a sip of his chocolate. He somewhat felt bitter to get a coffee like any other days. 

Jisung continued. “Go home. Just,” he sat up straight again, eyes soft yet his voice firm, “I don’t mean to meddle but do it if you’re still in love with him. No, scratch that. It withers, mine once withered too, more when you’re in a situation like this. But if you still, at least care of him, show him.”

Seongwoo stared and eventually he nodded. 

His mind was haunted by Jisung’s words. Phone tightly gripped on his hand, refraining himself to make a call. He did wonder, what was wrong about everything? They talked, they saw each other’s new jackets, how could it fade?

 

Seongwoo took the advice therefore took the weekend to hop on the earliest train back home. The sky was still dark, maybe it was about to rain, and Seongwoo scolded himself for neither wearing any hoodie or simply bringing an umbrella.

As soon as he stepped his feet on the platform, he let his legs did the work. His mind wandered everywhere but to the person on the corner of his eyes. He retreated at the sight, an unfamiliar knot was formed around his stomach as he saw him laughing. Oh, how he missed his laugh. There he also saw the glint on his friend’s eyes.

She liked him.

Seongwoo chose to play stupid for not showing himself. Instead, he followed him around, to the curry shop, to the workspace with his rolls of sketches, and when him being the good boy he was, took her home.

Seongwoo wanted to laugh at himself. This was too familiar. If this happened back when they were in high school, he would have fumed and Daniel would say sorry gazillion times without knowing the exact reason why because Seongwoo had this thing called ego tell the truth immediately. 

 

“Hyung?” 

His voice snapped him into the reality. Fuck, when did he walk out of the bushes?

“Hyung!” Daniel exclaimed. “Hyung, is this real?”

“Uh, hi?” Seongwoo was apparently still playing the stupid card.

“It’s really you!” Daniel came closer.

Seongwoo didn’t know why he wondered about being hugged with the hug that never came. Jisung was probably right. Daniel was there, somehow glued to his feet, yet looking genuinely happy.

“Daniel,” he said, “Can I come over?”

 

The younger excitedly opened the door to his house. It was the same, it even smelled the same. His mother welcomed him with the warm embrace he had been missing. She told him how delighted she finally got to see him again, and Seongwoo nodded every time his mother told him Daniel’s daily routines that he should’ve known but apparently missed. Daniel finally excused themselves after few good talks, and they walked to his room.

 

“I’m sure I still have some of your t-shirts, somewhere, and we still have the same size pants size, right?” Daniel chuckled to himself as he got busy in front of his wardrobe.

Seongwoo sat down on the edge of his bed. “How’s school?” He asked.

Daniel didn’t stop his unnecessarily fumbling with pile of clothes. “It’s good. I got great marks last term.”

“Good then,” Seongwoo nodded. He looked around his room. “Where are your cats?”

“Downstairs,” he stopped, “Ah, right, you were with mom when I checked on them. You can see them tomorrow.”

Seongwoo nodded again, “Okay.” He looked up and Daniel wasn’t done, so he walked to stand behind him, wrapping his arms around his then toned body. 

He could feel Daniel froze and tensed before he eventually relaxed into the hug.

They stayed like that for a moment until Daniel broke the hug and turned around. “Seongwoo.”

Seongwoo crashed his lips against his.

It was different, the kiss. Seongwoo pushed Daniel down the bed harshly, and unlike the other times, he wasn’t being delicate. He was far from being careful; Daniel bit his lip so hard it bled because he didn’t want to make loud noises that would worry his mom downstairs. Lust, pride, and rage took over Seongwoo as he flipped him over. He was busy proving himself— proving them, that he failed to catch the way Daniel’s eyes begged him to stop, and the way his hands twitched, afraid to make any move that would make him do all worse things possible. Yet Daniel complied, bearing the firm grips on his waist and the unending pain he felt with every forceful thrust — he took all of Seongwoo. He always does.

The high didn’t last long, and reality stroke Seongwoo like a hammer after he saw stars. Daniel laid there, broken, purple turning black marks all over his body, and he was crying.

“Fuck. Daniel,” he rushed to his face, cupping it but for the first time, Daniel’s eyes were everywhere but to him. “I’m so sorry.”

Seongwoo brought himself to kiss him apologies before he drifted off to sleep.

 

Seongwoo thought it was enough to convince both of them. He left that noon after lunch. Daniel fetched him to the station and bid him goodbye. It all felt familiar yet too foreign to him, and Daniel’s face said it all.

Seongwoo kissed his forehead, like he always did every time they part ways. They stared at each other that he noticed the longing in Daniel’s gaze. Seongwoo wondered why he kept his smile with such stare as much as why he didn’t say anything. Anything would be helpful, he supposed. But Seongwoo was a coward himself, so he turned on his heels and couldn’t bring himself to look back again.

He chose the window seat, but Daniel was gone the moment he sat down.

 

 

School took the blame from Seongwoo’s part. Distance wouldn’t be a problem if you had free weekends and if you weren’t so tired at night. Maybe if the circumstances weren’t that way, they could work out. Maybe if Daniel got accepted at his college, they could work out. 

Seongwoo closed his eyes that night, denying the ache inside his chest. His own voice was echoing throughout his head.

_Maybe if he asked about his days, they could work out._

Because it stung, the way Daniel’s voice wavered that night. He begged, he whined, and it hurt Seongwoo to keep hearing that. Daniel blamed himself, he promised him he would call him every day, he would take the train every month, and he would text him more frequently than before.

Seongwoo was firm. Accusing Daniel for feeling the same was an option, because he would know Daniel’s true feelings about their sinking relationship. And assuming Daniel was feeling the same, it would be easier for them to part for good. But Seongwoo couldn’t bear the guilt when Daniel started to yell no. Therefore, Seongwoo shut his mouth and didn’t give him further explanation.

 

Seongwoo wondered if this feeling was temporary, and Daniel wondered the same thing.

So, Daniel asked once he calmed down, “Is it okay for me to wait for you?

 

Timing was underappreciated until it stopped two people from being together. Both had been relying on time to give them any clue —  whether did love fade. They dragged themselves, waiting time to make any differences, whether it was for the bad or the good, to be shown nothing.

 

Seongwoo didn’t know the answer for that. Honestly, he was afraid himself that one day he wanted Daniel back after everything he had done to him. 

And waiting required time. “No,” he said. Maybe he just got slapped by the reality that they couldn’t work, and Daniel needed to know that.

“Okay,” there Daniel said. “But just so you know, I still love you.”

 

He couldn’t sleep that night, and again for the first few weeks, and also on the night of August 25th that year.

For the first time in few years, Seongwoo didn’t feel special.

 

 

Seongwoo decided it was better for him to focus on school. He worked his ass off to clear his projects and applied for many auditions.

He got his first minor role by the end of fall. His mother was so happy to hear the news on the phone that afternoon. Seongwoo brushed her off, saying he barely had 2 minutes long dialogues. Maybe God answered his father’s prayers that the 1.58 length script led him to many casting calls.

 

 

December came and Seongwoo spent it with Minhyun. He didn’t go back to his town and Seongwoo didn’t question why. They spent the night in Seongwoo’s flat, the TV as the background while Minhyun was cooking something decent for them to eat, and Seongwoo was rehearsing his script.

He could feel Minhyun once and then glanced his way, and his soft chuckle erupted every time Seongwoo messed the dialogues.

 

“If you don’t spend too much times cleaning my already sterile counter, maybe I could use a friend’s help to practice?” Seongwoo grumbled loudly as he stretched. 

Minhyun came with two cups of coffee. “My mission is to make you not die of starvation, and I’m doing a pretty good job.”

Seongwoo laughed and kept poking his sides, earning his glare. “Ayeee, I never told you to cook, we can always order something instead.”

Minhyun rolled his eyes, feigning that he wasn’t ticklish, to eventually surrendered nonetheless. “Fine, go order your unhealthy pig trotters and don’t call me once you have pimples all over your face.”

“Pig trotters cause pimples?” Seongwoo asked, stopping his ministration on Minhyun’s side.

“Well.” Minhyun nodded, “You don’t know what kind of oil they use or how they make it or do they even wash them..”

“You’re unbelievable.” Seongwoo laughed again. “Just say you’re afraid to get your belly back because you won’t be able to hold yourself once I order them. Am I right or am I right?”

Minhyun ignored him and sat on the carpet again, resting his back on the side of the bed. He took the remote to change the channel back and forth.

“Wait, you’re not mad, aren’t you?” Seongwoo peeked from his script. “Oh shit, I made the Hwang Minhyun mad!”

Minhyun rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

 “Then I was right?” Seongwoo laughed louder, totally forgetting his script as he laid on his stomach so he could match Minhyun’s head. “Minhyuuuun, don’t be mad, hm?”

Said man kept his cool, now focusing on a shopping channel.

“You know you love me.” Seongwoo said playfully, pinching his cheek.

Minhyun sighed, turning his head that they were only few centimetres apart. “I do.”

 

Seongwoo didn’t notice at first, the way Minhyun’s gaze lowered to his lips. Carefully, Minhyun inched forward until he could feel his breath right above his lips before he stopped. Seongwoo didn’t know what to feel, or how Minhyun felt, but he immediately moved back, and there Minhyun knew. 

 

“Sorry,” Minhyun muttered.

“Don’t be.” Seongwoo said, sitting up, “It’s just—“

“It’s fine,” he smiled. “Really, it’s fine.”

Seongwoo’s smile found its way back. “Thanks, Minhyun.”

“Anytime.”

 

Seongwoo would be lying if he didn’t find Hwang Minhyun attractive. He had been there since day 1 when Seongwoo struggled, welcomed him to his circle of friends, and brought the best version of Seongwoo that he himself couldn’t think of he was capable before.

He watched Minhyun’s head swayed as the night turned late. He asked him to take the bed first as he was still finishing up.

His phone lighted up once he tucked himself to bed.

 

_Thanks, Seongwoo hyung._

 

Seongwoo put his phone down, hearing Minhyun’s soft breathing from the side as he tried to close his eyes. 

 

 

His parents arrived around midnight, right after Seongwoo just finished his shoot on this new movie he got casted. They came a week in advance because they realized the possibility of Seongwoo misses his graduation because he overslept. His mother already made a-week-long menu of balanced diet so he wouldn’t look like a corpse on their family pictures later. Refrigerator became stuffed, and Seongwoo hadn’t got the chance to eat his almost expired cereal because he would always have omelette, at very least.

Seongwoo loved being spoiled, and looking back to all the little sleep he had thanks to plays after plays, he proudly grinned on his graduation pictures.

They had dinner afterwards, alongside Minhyun’s and Jonghyun’s family who happened to attend their sons’ graduation from their respective majors. He watched as his parents couldn’t stop boasting about him, and it spread warmth inside himself.

He took them to the station later that night. Minhyun fetched them with his car.

 

“Thanks, mom, dad. I’ll be home in few weeks after I finished packing up,” Seongwoo said, hugging them one by one.

“Take your time,” his mother said, “And oh, bring Minhyun to our house for a meal.”

Seongwoo blinked. 

“You think we didn’t notice?” His mother wiggled her eyebrows as he poked his son. 

_Oh_. “But mom,” Seongwoo started, “Minhyun is not—“

“That’s okay. Whenever you’re ready.” His mother waved her hand dismissively. By her side, his father already rolled his eyes and took her hand.

“We’ll be going now,” his father announced. 

 

Seongwoo had been feeling genuinely happy after a while. He did most of his shoots by day, and went home to a plate of dinner on his counter, or Minhyun’s dining table, and two familiar cups of coffee.

“You can stop pretending to like coffee now,” Seongwoo said, chuckling as he took a sip while sitting down after finishing another cardboard of clothes.

Minhyun rolled his eyes. He leaned in, looking stupid with foam all over his upper lip. “I’ve grown liking coffees now, and I blame you for that.”

Seongwoo laughed, and Minhyun smiled so wide when Seongwoo kissed the foam away.

 

They slept late that night though they were tired from the whole graduation, their classes’ after party and all. Seongwoo was the last one up. He walked to his balcony and lit up a cigarette. Minhyun had been scolding him for that, Jonghyun even once hid his new pack, but there was a reason why he had Dongho in the first place.

 

He didn’t really remember when, but it was around the time he had his sleepless nights.

 

_Congrats on your graduation, hyung!_

_Pls notify me when u got the Spiderman role, lol_

 

 

Seongwoo got big. His name skyrocketed after the success of his latest mini-series. He got into a professional agency during the first few months after it ended, and he barely slept at his house. His mother suggested to buy an apartment instead, that he had enough savings and she didn’t want his son to fall sick. So Seongwoo agreed, and Minhyun, working at nearby hospital, decided to move in with him.

Minhyun knew his complexes and he filled them complete.

That was what Seongwoo would like to believe.

 

_Happy birthday, Actor-Ong!_

 

 

Years passed. Life was unpredictable as it was, and that came in a form of Yoon Jisung, the director of Seongwoo’s upcoming movie. Jisung might be not that popular amongst big names, but his remarkable works made himself clear that he deserved his spot at the industry.

The movie hit big, and the duo was known for their chemistry. So, they tried several concepts together, until the public got tired of them, and they decided to take a break. 

 

“You know you’ll always be my favorite partner,” Seongwoo said. “If only you paid me more, I’d stay, you know?”

“Don’t start missing me already.” Jisung sneered. “I’ll come back for you when I have better stuff in mind, and we will be nothing but making cash.”

Seongwoo laughed as he asked for another shot. 

Apparently, no one told him it was a small reunion. A wave of flashback successfully hit him on the gut when Kim Jaehwan also made an appearance.

“He nearly jumped in his half-sober state.” Jisung teased.

“Calm your ass, hyung,” Jaehwan cackled, “He’s not here. Probably eating a curry at Japan, or watching aurora at Iceland.”

“Fuck you two.”

 

_Happy belated 30th birthday, Seongwoo!_

 

 

Seongwoo was alone at his apartment that night. Wrap up party was held, but he suddenly didn’t feel like it that he dismissed himself earlier. 

He was distractedly watching NatGeo when his phone showed a message. Maybe his heart tightened, and maybe he could’ve cried upon reading it. So, he called the sender.

 

“Hi,” Seongwoo said.

Minhyun was silent for a moment before answering, “How are you?”

"Good. You?”

“Never been better,” he answered. He let out a breath, “You know I still care for you.”

Seongwoo chuckled bitterly. “Therefore, I don’t deserve you.”

Minhyun didn’t laugh at that, instead his voice was shaky. “Seongwoo, say it and I’ll cancel the whole thing.”

Seongwoo’s eyes watered. He held them in — he was afraid of losing it and eventually said yes to Minhyun’s plead. He couldn’t do that to Minhyun, not after everything he had done. Not again. “I can’t. We won’t work out.”

“Be glad I wasn’t that serious because you’re being too predictable.” Minhyun forced out a laugh. It stung. “You didn’t try, Seongwoo. You haven’t!”

Seongwoo kept his steady voice. “Believe me I have.”

“No.” Minhyun said. “It’s okay if it wasn’t me, I fully understand. Maybe I wasn’t even there from the start,” he chuckled again, “but you can’t keep shutting yourself because you’re constantly afraid of losing interest. Is this self-torture? A punishment? Repression out of guilt? What is this, Seongwoo?”

Seongwoo kept quiet.

Minhyun sighed, “I love you, and I really want you to be happy. Because I am now.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“Oh, shut it.” Seongwoo chuckled and Minhyun followed eventually. “But for real though, just try, okay? Promise me if someone came, cared for you, you open up, and when the hardest part comes,” Minhyun paused, “when the hardest part comes, overcome it. Don’t run away from it.”

Seongwoo bit his lower lip. He waited for Minhyun to continue.

“Love is a real deal, Seongwoo. It revolves around human, a living creature, therefore it affects one’s well-being, emotionally and physically. Love requires effort from both sides, and effort is— communication. Talk, talk about what’s bothering you, what makes it wear off, and there goes the saying you cannot repair a broken bridge from one side only. Discuss the solution, together.”

“It doesn’t sound like that, the quote,” Seongwoo mumbled.

Minhyun groaned. “Shut up. You know what I meant.”

Seongwoo laughed. “Thanks, Minhyun.”

“Anytime,” he said. “Oh by the way, I wanted you to be my best man but he would be pissed, so I’m sorry it’s Dongho out of all people.”

Seongwoo laughed again. 

 

 

Seasons changed. Years of summers, of springs and falls, and of course winters had passed, Seongwoo was 36 and on the top of his career. He was living the dream he couldn’t think he would be able to achieve back when he was 15, staring at the ceiling of his old room, aiming to reach the top.

He just came back after the little party his agency threw for him. It was always like this. He opened the door of his fridge, pour himself a glass of wine, changed into sweats and t-shirt, and drank while watching the city beneath with NatGeo’s faded sound as the background.

He called his parents, thanking them and inviting them to come because, “Am I not your most beloved, one and only son anymore?”. He video called with his sister, only to be greeted with his niece and nephew telling him to come over all the way to New York. He also replied bunch of messages from his friends, from his colleagues, and his fans. It was still unbelievable to him sometimes, to see people actually claiming themselves as his fans. He was beyond grateful, and he couldn’t ask for more.

Until that very message arrived. _He_ never missed a single birthday, not even once. Few times he sent it later than the usual, because Jaehwan said he was outside the country, enjoying life. There were also times when he sent it earlier, because Jisung said he was just got home after a project overseas that he was afraid of falling asleep.

It was funny to think that Jaehwan and Jisung were still around, bearing with the same old story, yet didn’t push their noses like they did before.

 

_Happy birthday, Seongwoo hyung._

_I read ur latest movie’s reviews, it’s gonna be a hit!_

 

He occasionally added some other information Seongwoo couldn’t predict. He once thanked him for taking the casting offer from his favorite director, once encouraged him when he was got into a scandal, many times he said his movie was great, but there were also other times he just simply congratulated him on getting older.

 

Seongwoo stared at the text as he sipped his wine. Usually he instantly replied with a single thank you, and he would reply again with a your welcome, and there they stopped until his turn to send the birthday messages, and it was on repeat like a vicious cycle. For years, Seongwoo never delete their text history. Minhyun’s last words before his marriage lingered, and that made him scroll thorough the bubbles of the similar message until he reached the top.

 

21 years — they would’ve fucking gotten a bachelor degree. 

 

Seongwoo found himself smiling, and for the longest time, maybe he did find himself getting curious for uncertainty. 

He was still reading the latest text over and over again, until he decided that it wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it would, there was always this possibility, but he needed to take the risk.

 

_Thanks, Daniel. I hope so, I worked hard for this one._

_Are you in town?_

 

It would be a lie if he wasn’t nervous when the message was read but he wasn’t getting any replies.

One minute passed, two minutes, and five minutes had passed.

He felt like a boy during his puberty in this old man body, but he really considered blocking him from any social media platforms, or moving out of the country, or even using Jaehwan’s name for hacking his phone as a way out.

 

His wine was long forgotten on the coffee table as he gripped his phone.

 

After 8 minutes, Seongwoo counted, a reply finally came. Seongwoo nearly threw his phone.

 

_Hyung, you know we’re too old for this shit_

 

Seongwoo wanted to laugh when another reply popped up.

 

_But I’m in town, and I’m a bit too free for my liking tonight. And hell, Seongwoo, it took you this long?_

 

Seongwoo might want to try again, for the same person — with the same person, because after all these years, he probably never really once felt out of love. Time finally answered to him. At this point, he really owned him his entire lifetime, which he didn't mind giving at all.

He really did wait, this boy.

**Author's Note:**

> i got carried away in writing this but i hope anyone who reads this got the point because its my first time writing this kinda fic ;_;
> 
> and once again i'd like to thank those behind this ongnielweek, its been fun <3


End file.
